Do you think that womenarethe only ones asking the question, “Do these pants make me look fat?” I did and apparently I was only part right. While reading an opinion piece, by MikeZimmerman,on Male Body Imagein Women’s Health Magazine, I learned that they do worry about body image, but men according to Zimmerman, “…will, however, check the mirror and wonder, “Do these pants hide my gut enough to get me laid?” It’s the same thing fundamentally, and it defines that irresistible logic gap we all try to leap: If the body looks like crap, recalibrate the pants.”

So, yes, they ask the question, they just phrase it different.

All my life I’ve witnessed guys walking around shirtless, despite less than perfect bodies, sometimes with full-on prominentguts displayed for all the world to see. I assumed this meant that men did not give much thought to how they looked or more specifically - they didn’t sweat the beer belly. I was wrong.

What percentage of men worry about body image? “One body-image study found that 45 percent of men were dissatisfied with their physiques; women were only slightly less satisfied at 55 percent,” according to a study mentioned in a 6 part article on Male Body Image Infoplease.com, by Alice Potter.

Reading Zimmerman’s piece, it gave me a lot to think about. I feel like this information gave me some peek into the psyche of man, like it let one of their well-guarded secrets slip and I feel more powerful because Inow havethe knowledge that men can be just asuptight as women when it comes to looks. Maybe men and women aren’t as different as originally thought? They look might look rough and tough, butI’velearned a few things overmy years of livingand working with both big men and the little men I see every day at school.It’s this - they have feelings, too, much as they try to hide them. So, as I warn my daughters, “Be gentle with boys, becausethe can be very fragile.”

Share This

Over at Chemistry.com, they have a number of interesting articles on the issues of dating, attraction, chemistry, ect. I’m working my way through them and I thought that an article, by Kimberly Dawn Neumann, entitled, Are Certain Types Destined To Date,was timely in light of Lara’s First Dates #374post last week.

The article explains that some people look for someone like themself and some look for someone very different, but that for the most part, the successful relationship is the one in which the couples have complimentary personalities -not just exactly the same, not too different. Although, there is a danger in the complimentary couple finding themselves further entrenched in their particle personality quirks. Neumann says, “…couples should be careful to treat their partners strengths not as a crutch, but as an opportunity to watch and learn new habits and skills to move outside their comfort zones on occasion.”

Science playsa part in attraction,Neumann shares that “Helen Fisher, Ph.D., anthropologist and author of Why We Love,”breaks the types down into four “temperaments.” Each temperamenthas a “chemical in charge,” anda good and bad match.For example, say youidentified yourselfas “The Negotiator,” it would go like this:

The Negotiator
Chemical in charge: Estrogen (associated with intuition and creativity)
Personality: Imaginative, sympathetic, socially skilled, idealistic
Best match: Good with all types!
Worst match: None

To figure out your temperament and the personality type you should be looking for, take a look at

Chemistry - Are Certain Types Destined To Date?

Share This

I’m big on personal finance stuff… I love reading blogs about it, and I’ve even been known to try to start my own in the past, but I’m too busy making money to actually write about what I’m doing with it.

One of my favorite personal finance blogs is by a married father who is not just frugal, he’s downright SMART about money and how to save it without letting the frugality feel like it’s something of a burden to the family. On The Simple Dollar, Trent’s Twenty Free Ways To Please Your Lover (In A Family Friendly Way) serves as not only a great list of free suggestions you won’t be afraid to tackle in front of children (or parents, for that matter), but as a reminder that it really can be the little things that count most in a relationship, even if you’re still in the “honeymoon phase” of dating.

Some of my favorites on the list:

8. Leave a Post-It. If you leave first in the morning, put a Post-It note on the bathroom mirror for her to find.

16. Watch what he wants. If he wants to watch a particular show that you dont like, just let him watch it, cuddle up next to him, and try to enjoy it.

20. Say I love you. Out of the blue, without provocation.

Share This

Today marks the first day of college for my daughter’s good friend, Kimm. Kimm has a lot to look forward to - interesting classes, intellectual discussions, parties, new boys, … but hopefully no invasion of privacy from a website called Juicy Campus.

Juicy Campus features gossip items that are posted anonymously.Featuring colleges from allover the United States, the posters can say anything they want about anybody they want. Full names, home addresses, private details aboutsex lives that may or may not be true - all of this can be posted and there is no way that the person it is posted about can remove it.

TheNew JerseyAttorney Generalsoffice is investigating whether they have anylegal recourse in regards to Juicy Campus. Theyissued subpoenasto advertisers Google andAdBrite Inc. -both have pulled their ads. ThePresident of The University of Florida sent a letter to the Florida State Attorney General’s office in an attempt totake get the office to take someaction. A copyof the letter can be viewed herehttp://randazza.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/uf-letter.pdf

Figuring out how to balance school and a job, studying for finals, schlepping the laundry home to mom, this is the extent of what a college student should worry about. They should not have to worry about strangers knowing their home address or fellow students posting erroneous rumors about their private lives ina public forum.

Share This

Okay, so my ex and I had a horrible breakup after a horrible 6 month relationship. I loved him and his family and he responded by cheating on me with his ex several times, lying to me, talking trash about my family and friends, and calling me a “fat bitch” 40 times a day. I know… I know. I should’ve never let it get past the 3rd date, to be honest. I don’t know why I did… I guess I fell for his crap and tried to forgive him. I just got tired of it all when he let the ex back in his life for the 4th time and decided I’d had enough.

After it was finally over (I got sucked back in a couple times with those lines like, “You’re perfect, and if I wasn’t so afraid/insecure/big an ass I’d marry you in a heartbeat.” How stupid am I, right?) I held off for a while before going back out there and trying to meet someone new. I wanted to spend time getting “the old me” back. I had given up my friends and a lot of the things I loved before I met him. I had allowed him to lower my self-esteem, despite the fact that while together I’d lost 35 pounds and he’d gained it. *snicker* Despite the fact that I know I’m a kickass chick. Despite the fact that we had really nothing in common… blah blah blah.

So a month and a half after our last conversation, I thought I might be ready, and I joined eHarmony. All’s good, and I thought I wouldn’t have to deal with seeing him there because it’s pretty expensive and he’s a cheap bastard.

He then tried to contact me again (after all the times he tried before in the past six weeks that failed him, and even caused me to set up my phone to treat his calls special by faking that the phone’s been disconnected) and this time, the bastard used his nephew’s birthday to get to me. He knows I loved those kids. But I ripped him a new one, and asked that he not contact me again.

Meanwhile, the eHarmony matches died down, so I decided to go peek around PlentyOfFish last night and lo and behold… there he is. He wasn’t on there before I’d told him off in that email. But that was I guess his ticket to go out there and find someone else to hurt. I’m sitting there reading his stupid profile, thinking to myself, “He’s lying to all these women. He’s NOT this person,” and wanting to create a profile just to warn women of their inevitable demise if they consider speaking to him. (No, I didn’t do that.)

I guess the thing that bothers me is that just the day before, he was making yet another attempt at reeling me back in, and now he’s on there trying to reel in someone else when I made it clear I’m not biting this time, or ever again. No, I don’t want him back. I wouldn’t take him back if he went all Lloyd Dobler on me. But I don’t want him to be happy. I want him to be miserable like he made me. I’m over him, but I’m not over the hurt, you know?

I’m afraid that that’s going to hurt me even more when it comes to meeting my own matches. I’m scared that the next guy is going to be like him. I’m afraid I’ll be cheated on again. I’m afraid that I’m going to push someone away who could be wonderful because I’m going to get suspicious and scared and paranoid. I’m wondering if I should take my profile down from eHarmony, eat the $120 and wait.

Then another part of me wants to meet new people because it’s not in my nature to be so mistrusting. I’m wanting some guy out there to restore my faith in relationships, in love. But I don’t want to be “that girl” who whines about her horrible ex to the next guy either.

Is it okay for me to be looking? I think it’s sick and twisted that he is, but is it okay for me?

Share This